News - Advice for dads? Work it out yourself

Posted on March 31, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

Will a new information pack for expectant fathers be any help? A father of two, who has been through it all, offers his own advice. I realised I needed some advice on becoming a dad just a few seconds too late at the pregnancy classes. As the tutor asked us “birth partners” what we were doing to prepare, I rather stupidly told the truth. “I’m on the Playstation every night because it’s the last chance I’ll ever have.” Credibility exits along with the tumbleweed. Three years on, a father to a girl and a boy, what have I learned? And would I have benefited from some kind of Dad Pack with quick tips on dealing with poo running down my nice trousers? Rewired I bought the books at the time, and then didn’t really read them. It wasn’t that I thought I knew it all, it was just there was so much going on that nature appears to have programmed us to learn on the job. So here is what I learned all-by-myself, to quote my three-year-old daughter. Life changes. Completely, utterly, forever. Everything that you knew before, forget it. Your brain gets rewired. Your alcohol tolerance level collapses. You need more sleep and you lose track of everything else in the world, other than what your wife thinks about you. HAVE YOUR SAY As a dad for a year now, all I can say is each situation is different Jonathan Kelk, Dalry, UK Send us your comments I have learned that the only person who can tell you how to be a parent is yourself. By all means seek advice and listen to it. But unless you are prepared to take on the big decisions (bribery tactics for toddlers) and the complex emotional ones, you are going to struggle. No amount of self-help manuals, government-backed schemes or cod-psychology on daytime TV will help you negotiate the paths you need to take. The hardest thing for some men to deal with is the (false) belief that they are forever free agents with their own time jealously guarded. Well get over it, that isn’t the way of the world. If the Dad Pack goes anywhere towards making men confront the reality, then it’s a good thing. Exploring Nobody told me that three years on I would only get to watch DVDs rather than go to the cinema. The only gadget I now marvel at is the breast pump (although it really is an thing). But hey, I’m relaxed because none of this stuff matters when measured against going beetle and caterpillar hunting with my daughter. And I’m entirely relaxed that I am rapidly heading towards a day when I will be doing my embarrassing Dad dance at school discos. I say embrace the change because you’re not living your life to the full if you fight against the direction you have taken it. So wave bye-bye to everything you knew and set out as you would for a good holiday. You’re going exploring. Take some nice pictures on the way. I think that the father is such an important role, and what we need to do is start showing more positive fatherly role models on tv and in the media rather than showing the inept and confused male figure that it seems to have become the norm to promote. My partner will make a great father, and he will learn about it the same way I learn to be a mother: as we go along! Briony, Leeds, West Yorkshire I couldn’t agree more. 5 years ago I would not have entertained the idea of playing tea parties. Now here I am 41 years old and enjoying every blooming minute of it. Though you do have to accept you will never be cool again. bob, Cinderellas castle After two and a half years I’m still trying to teach my husband the concepts of ‘over-tiredness’ and ‘over-excitedness’; my advice to all dads is don’t get your children over-excited before bedtime - they’ll be over-tired and won’t be able to sleep! Hilary, Leuven Belgium Having a baby is like embarking on the most exciting, exhilerating and nerve-wracking journey of all. And you discover whole new levels of stress: your screaming child while rushing to A+E is a start! Robert Garner, Bristol, UK The greatest tip I can give, being Dad to (soon to be)1 year old Ieuan is: If you are moving from one room to another, and you have a hand empty…means you have left something behind or forgotten something. David Poultney, Faringdon UK Don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming tunes from cbeebies programmes under your breath throughout the day. (Currently playing inside my head: eyes and ears and mouth and brain are what you need to play the game̷ Anthony, London If your employer isn’t sympathetic to their staff having parenting , find a new job quickly! John Tams-Gray, Ruislip, UK Being a dad isn’t stressful. All you have to do is look at life from a different perspective. Everything has changed, but a new ‘normal’ can be reached. Everything now requires planning and contingency. I find that the ‘Dad Time’ when my daughter wants to play with me is so rewarding. Steve, Manchester I became a father to twin girls late last year, and it has been/is one of the most tiring yet rewarding of my life to date. As mentioned in the article forget everything that you have ever known before, because that is all going to go out of the window. I now play peek-a boo for more hours a day than I get to play on the PS/2, I come to work for a rest and a lie in is a thing of the past. I dont think that an information pack of any sort can truly prepare anyone for their embarkation on fatherhood, as every circumstance is different what applies for one person will not apply for another person. Chris, Milton Keynes All Dads are diffrent in the same way that all Mums are different. My partner is great at playing football with my two girls, or helping them with their maths and reading, but just don’t ask him to put their hair in a pony-tail or get them to bed at decent time if the footies’ on! Most men have only just learnt to look after themselves so lets be easy on them and make the most of them growing up with their kids! Kate Prior, Caerphilly As a successful (I like to think) father of a girl and a boy, I think the only advice most fathers need is “It’s your baby - do what feels right”. This advice, of course, should also be the basis of advice to mothers. Listen to the mother, as well, as for the most part she’ll spend more time with the child. Finally, the best advice for any parent is “enjoy your babies - they grow up fast”. Tom Lee, Guernsey Yep, life changes completely, but its still the best thing I did in my life. Sure you lose a lot of “your own time”, but you get so much back out of it you don’t care. I feel sorry for those who don’t feel that way. And while there are no manuals to really prepare you it does help to talk to other parents to learn some tips and tricks on how to bribe your children, get them to eat certain things etc. Best journey I ever started. Ron Winkler, The Hague, The Netherlands Add your comments using the form below. Terms & Conditions

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News - Refugees taught how to eat American food

Posted on March 30, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

“This guy is overweight,” she says, explaining that this is because he eats too much fast food and drinks cola. “And guess what happens?” she asks. “Inside his body there are lots of problems.” At a table, a dozen or so refugees - most of them from Africa - sit and nod. Some smile and chat among themselves. They appear to get the picture. This workshop on how to eat American food is part of an Illinois state-funded programme to improve the nutrition of refugees who are being re-settled in the land of plenty. “First we are most concerned about whether they will understand how to eat American food,” says Shana Willis, with the non-profit refugee resettlement agency Heartland, one of the project co-ordinators. “They did not only not understand how to eat American food, but they went to the junk food and it was then that we realised, this is going to have a much more important impact than we anticipated.” Culture shock One of the major challenges for organisers is to change the way the refugees think about food. Many of the new arrivals suffered from and came from places where food was scarce. I have been here just a few months and its very disorientating… Where will I find dates to break my Ramadan fasting? And, where do I get halal goat meat? Refugee at the workshop Some want to make up for a lifetime in which they were denied meat. Others gravitate towards the fizzy orange drink and crisps, believing they are a great source of vitamins. And there is plain culture shock. “I have been here just a few months and its very disorientating,” says one man through a translator. “Where will I find dates to break my Ramadan fasting? And, where do I get halal goat meat?” In mid-western Chicago, the answer is not obvious. During the workshop Ms Desai holds up a plastic prop of a piece of broccoli. “How many vegetables do you eat in the day?” she asks the class. One man says something quietly. “He eats nothing!” exclaims one woman, giggling - “He eats no vegetables!” “Oh-oh,” says Ms Desai. Shopping tips She asks the class how much pasta is in a serving. One man puts out his whole arm and points to his wrist. When they first come, there is a lot of hoarding - more than they need… So I tell them it won’t run out - in fact it will spoil Bindi Desai “No,” she says, “one serving is a cupped hand.” “If you only eat one time, maybe the arm is okay.” Aside from presenting the workshops, Ms Desai pays home visits to help steer the refugees towards smart shopping. “When they first come, there is a lot of hoarding,” she says. “More than they need.” “So I tell them it won’t run out - in fact it will spoil,” she explains. Ms Desai weeds through their cupboards, the beans, pasta and vegetables and discouraging the junk food. But teaching shopping tips sometimes is not enough. Many of the refugees are living in Chicago’s poorer neighbourhoods and they can have difficulty finding healthy food. So Ms Desai also organises grocery store tours. She says she sees evidence in the cupboards that her lessons are making a difference. Learning Organisers say the project has been so successful with African populations arriving in the United States, that it will be expanded to other refugee groups, with renewed funding from the state. Back at the workshop, Ms Desai is wrapping up. “Did you learn anything?” she asks. One man raises his hand. “Eat too much food and you get fat,” he says. “That’s right,” says Ms Desai. Another man joins in and says: “Salt not good. Sugar not good. Oil not good. Fat not good. Blood pressure, heart problems. Yup, Yup.” Ms Desai laughs and says: “Very good. You’re learning our slang.”

News - The Magazine Monitor

Posted on March 29, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

Great news, buried in the article Greenland melt ’speeding up’, I see a reference to changes in the earths gravity, I have been telling my doctor I am not getting fatter it’s the earth’s gravity getting stronger, finally I have the scientific evidence. Nigel, Salford In the unsung landmarks picture gallery Neil Templeton notes the Harland and Wolff shipyard crane is “one of the two icons of Belfast”. It then says: What’s the other?” The “other” mentioned is the other crane - they are a pair, Samson and Goliath. Awesome. MissB, My Ivory Tower How stupid do I feel? It’s only just clicked with me that Punorama is a play on Panorama. John Coulthard, Bath, UK Five chameleons, three fluffy dogs, a squirrel, two pandas and a lobster… who needs pets when you can just cut pages out of Metro? Rob Foreman, London, UK When I settled down to do the 7 days 7 questions quiz this morning, I was met by a question asking me the braking distance when travelling at 60 mph. That is not a news question! And I got it wrong - so I strongly protest to it being included! And it involved numbers - how am I meant to cope with that at 10am, before I’ve had my first sugary mug of Nescafe? Blackwood, Edinburgh Re Lester Mak, London’s request for a flexicon entry for adding superfluous words in sentences, how about “superverbosity”? David, Maesteg, South Wales With regards Lester Mak’s comments about shopping days, I still don’t understand why banks talk about so many working days for things to clear now they have seven-day phone and web banking in most cases. Surely at least some of each bank’s employees are therefore at work on any given day. Ed, Clacton, UK Quote of the day: the next time Selina Scott watches Big Brother, can I sit next to her please? Kip, Norwich UK For anyone wanting more shortcut tips for MS Word or for a definition of Spike, try this. It is Friday, after all. Em, Dundee, UK Missed opportunity of the day: In the “Road hole swallows car and driver story, what the council spokesperson should have said is: “We’re looking into it”. Mike C, Leeds, UK Link to this item Return to top of Magazine Monitor Enlarge Image

It’s time to vote for this week’s picture caption.

This week, Neil and Christine Hamilton were pictured in Edinburgh launching the first-ever festival photography comptition, Fringe Framed, to celebrate the 60th Fringe Festival.

Here are the shortlisted entries - now vote for the winner.

1. Kip, Norwich
Beyond the Cringe

2. Sue Lee, Twickenham
When bad clothes happen to entirely deserving people.

CAPTION COMPETITION VOTE Whose is the best caption? Kip Sue Lee Jim Neesweep Cayley Oli Beale John Coulthard

3. Jim Neesweep, Norwich
At last some good news for the Labour party as their new election poster is unveiled.

4. Cayley, Santiago
Does this count as hand luggage?

5. Oli Beale, London
Damien Hirst creates his most tasteless piece to date.

6. John Coulthard, Bath
Cliche fans shocked as picture revealed to be not worth a thousand words.

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Pet goat taken on drunken joyride would bring a smile to my face. However, when I read on about the tragic outcome for Snowy I once again felt like all was lost, until I went to write to MM only to be greeted with a pair of gurning Hamiltons… what an emotional rollercoaster today is turning out to be! Suppose I should get back to work…
Mark, , UK

Ok, while everyone is bashing the landmarks quiz, mine failed to load all the pictures and yet I still managed 8/10 (I missed the eden project and Liver building) I approached it from the point of which of these places has the most famous man made landmark.. go on try for yourself:
Felixstowe, Birkenhead, Portsmouth, Southampton. Did you get it?
Mike, Nottingham

Sarah Halifax, Canada waxes lyrical over the Eccles cake. It is but a pale imitation of the wonderful Chorley Cake. I suggest that Mr Blair eats them spread with lashings of salted butter.
Nigel, Walkden (near Eccles), UK

As an IT professional, and after extensive research, I can confirm that the shift-F3 trick does indeed work. Here’s another little nugget, did you know that ctrl-F3 has a name, it’s called Spike. Proof: highlight a word press ctrl-f3 then click on edit and you will see you can undo Spike, so ctrl-F3 must be Spike, QED.
Nigel, Salford, Uk

In response to Grace from London, a favourite of mine is Alt + F4. It’s somewhere on the same level as, “You know they’ve taken the word gullible out of the dictionary”
Matt, Sheffield

Keyboard tips: Don’t eat you lunch over it, crumbs and everything are really horrible for the next user.
Also Windows Key and M - minimises all open windows
JH, Tylers Green

As a side note to your caption competition, just thought I’d let you know that I saw Neil and Christine in Edinburgh the other day… signing each cheek of a man’s *rse. Just thought I’d let you know.
Andrew, Edinburgh

dismissed a photographer after he was found to have doctored two images from Lebanon, such rules clearly don’t apply in the world of Royal photographic portraiture. The Mail refers to the “colour enhancement” which “gives the young princess even a turn-of-the-century air”.

It even seeks the opinion of veteran photographer Terry O’Neill who says the picture is “spoilt by changing the colour. It just makes the picture look very unreal.”

And there was Paper Monitor thinking the printers had forgotten to slot in a new tri-colour cartridge.

But hold on, here’s the exact same portrait in today’s Daily Mirror with none of the dramatic colour contrast.

So who’s Bea-n busy on Photoshop then?

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digital tribes will update their thoughts based on how many people in different postcodes go online to see which group they are in? I checked and found that I am the type that would check. Very reassuring.
Jon , Bristol

I got 9/10 in the landmarks quiz. The one I got wrong was Newcastle.
Mike , Newcastle upon Tyne

So we don’t recognise places without their landmarks? Of course we don’t, that’s how the mind works, we could recognise each other if we didn’t have our facial features. This seems a case of pointless science!
Olly Bacon, Biggleswade

Re: PM’s comment that there are (only) 138 shopping days until Christmas. I don’t get why people still insist on including the “shopping” bit, as since Sunday Trading was introduced in 1994, everyday is a shopping day. Surely there’s a flexicon entry for this kind of behaviour?
Lester Mak, London

OK, the Mirror shows awareness of ‘what readers really want’by publishing pictures of cute creatures. So your picture of a likkle baby panda was erm, purely for scientific erudition then? By the way, over here in Pedant’s Corner we spell it Wednesday.
vicky, east london

QJ, yes, money lenders were thrown out of the temple, but having a cash machine to let people get at their own money is a bit different, surely?
Sara, London, UK

Thank you for ‘7ft python turns up at neighbours. It had been nearly two whole weeks without a python story, since the one about the albino python in the post office. Will we continue to have python stories once the silly season is over?
Carol, Portugal

After the success of the shift-F3 tips, can MM readers suggest other handy keyboard hints?
Grace, London

Mel Smith captured the headlines with his threat to defy Scotland’s smoking in public ban and light up on stage at the Edinburgh festival.

You punners really surpassed yourselves this time, all the creative people collected in Edinburgh would be so proud.

Focusing on the Churchill theme were Nick in London with Never, in the field of human comedy, was there so much puff over a smoker who smoked so few, Tall Tone from Essex with We shall fight them on the stages and John Coulthard in Bath with You Winston? You Lose Them.

Those taking the cigar as their inspiration are John Coulthard with Smokey And They Banned It, Smoky and the banned skit from David Dee in Maputo, Mozambique and
Russell in the Wirral with Smokey and the bandit. There was also Edinburgh Singe from Clive Burdall in Croydon, Cuban Missive Crisis from Pat Murphy in Wallasey,
Mel was just Havan a cigar from NJM in Edinburgh and Lights… Cuban… Ashtray from Elvis McGuire in Wigan - great name by the way.

And an honourable mention for Grahame Blanchard in Towcester with A crass Smith and moans, Alas, Smith and fumes from Sarah in London and Romeo y Julieta, a modern farce from Simon Rooke in Nottingham.

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comments about Catholicism and evolution. Most Catholics today ( in the Western world) do in fact believe in the theory of evolution. The Catholic Church is actually more lenient than many may assume when it comes to the Bible - more lenient, for example, than many evangelical Christian churches, whose members are more likely to disregard evolutionary theory in favour of the Biblical version of events.
Matthew, Gateshead

I can clarify Kay’s question, as a Catholic creationist evolutionist. The Catholic church (most of it) does teach that evolution is, as accepted by science, the most valid theory of how life evolved on Earth. However, it also teaches that, as Christians, we must believe that the driving force behind this evolution was God as creator. So the standard teaching, where the teaching is correct, is that both creationism and evolution can, and should, be accepted. Some Catholics don’t believe in evolution, but that’s personal choice, not Church teaching.
Anon, Chicago, USA

Can anyone tell me why press officer is an unusual job at the Edinburgh Festival? Seems quite mundane to me
Owain Williams, Munich

So a cleric suggests putting cash machines in churches. The cynic in me wonders if this might be related to recent returns from his collection plate?
Hang on, didn’t someone famous once cast money-lenders out of the temple?
QJ, Stafford, UK

Does anybody else find it odd that 11% of people surveyed in Portsmouth were unable to identify a photo of their home town, even when it included the utterly distinctive, 170-metre tall Spinnaker Tower? Do these people never look up?
MJ Simpson, Leicester, UK

Oh my God! Is it really a year since Cabbaging (Monday letters). What am I doing with my life.
John Bates, London SE1

The picture caption in this storysays “The mouse looks the same but has an ancient gene” yet I’ve never seen a mouse like it, except in cartoons. Have they deliberately squashed its back-end flat with some sort of road-roller or has someone been busy with Photoshop?
James, Scotland

To Norm Brown (Monday letters) - you can’t “crash out” if you’ve reached the final. It is implicit in “crashing out” that the competition continues without you, something that dear old Tim didn’t experience too often.
Steve, London

Re the growing controversy over mid-morning pastries, could I suggest that PM try an Eccles cake or a custard tart before angry Francophones start demanding a bilingual Monitor site? Besides, an Eccles cake is much nicer.
Sarah, Halifax, Canada

nominative determinism - or just that glamorous celebrities get allocated their own glam law enforcers?

While the fall-out from the lock-out was unfolding on the street for all to see, where was Macca himself? Paper Monitor suspects he might have been busy penning a letter to the Daily Telegraph’s new agony aunt, Lesley Garner. “We split up, but she won’t leave,” runs the headline across Ms Garner’s inaugural problem to solve.

Not that the Telegraph would lower itself to have an agony aunt, as such. That’s red-top tabloid territory. Ever since Virginia Ironside’s Dilemma’s column in the Independent, the qualities have taken a more highbrow approach to rubber-necking on other people’s problems. Thus, Ms Garner “tackles the anxieties and dilemmas that beset modern life”. As for a “photo casebook” ( the Sun’s Deidre): no chance!

today’s Daily Mini-Quiz.

Faces of the Week on Mel Gibson said “although a practising Roman Catholic, he does not believe in evolution.” Sorry, does being a Roman Catholic mean you DO believe in evolution? I wasn’t aware that was a tenet of belief in the Catholic catechism. Rather the opposite I’d have thought. Perhaps the Catholics among us could correct me in this if I am wrong?
Kay, London

Re your article on the death of the electric car. Might it be that it wasn’t the oil firms who killed off the electric car but the insurance companies worried about all the claims they would receive from people tripping over the leads which would be covering the pavements as the cars were being charged?
Barry, Manchester

Mellowpuffs ready, browsers to BBC News, five clicks only… we’re getting ready for the first anniversary of Cabbaging. PS Mellowpuffs are the kiwi version of teacakes.
A. Kent, Wellington, New Zealand

Picking up on this morning’s Paper Monitor, I’m enthralled by the Pageant’s gas strut assisted handbrake, dual action extractor fan and non-slip shower mat. But where’s the music system for my James Blunt CDs?
Mike , Newcastle upon Tyne

Re today’s mini-quiz (on 31 November) - there’s more than one typing error there. Any Scot will know that the man whose birthday is celebrated on January 25 is Rabbie Burns - and it’s Burns’ night, not Burn’s night.
K, Edinburgh

Snippet 7 about leatherback turtles is a very sad reality. However a typical pun laced with unique British humour could be prevalent in the slogan of many supermarkets, which is :”A bag for life”
Tim McMahon, Pennar/Wales

The BBC Sport morning headline says Murray loses in Washington final. Why didn’t he “crash out” like Henman always does?
norm brown, Branxton. NSW.OZ.

More oddities, this story appeared at No. 5. on the Most E-Mailed list on Saturday afternoon at half three. Why? Neither of them are even in the news!
Kirk Northrop, Manchester, England

PM, PM, it’s pain aux raisinS! We discussed this weeks ago. Or are you trying to make everybody happy, using AUX in the plural and RAISIN in the singular?
Hlne, Lorraine, Qubec

Re the note at the end of Friday’s letters, thanks for the advice. I will make sure that I “ONLY INCLUDE THE HR TAG AT START OF NEW DAY” I’m sure I’m not the only one who found this very useful.
Adam G, Merstham

this site, well caravanning has certainly come on in terms of comfort in recent years.

So what does the foreign secretary use to tow this mobile mansion? A Range Rover, no less… which is of passing interest in light of the call today from the Sustainable Development Commission to slap 1,800 vehicle excise duty on polluting 4×4s. Still, it’s probably more eco friendly that flying.

Daily Mail readers get a double dose of New Labour holiday snaps - with Cherie Blair pictured sun bathing -without a sarong! - on a boat near Barbados. The Mail can hardly contain itself, pointing out that like “most women of a certain age, her approach to sunbathing is usually rather modest. But this summer… Cherie Blair is feeling a little more self assured”.

Talking of shedding one’s old attire - it’s the second Monday in a row with no Diana splash in the Express.

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News - Holiday questions

Posted on March 28, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

Travel expert Peter Nunn and Kim Winter from Holiday Which? answer your questions on holidays. Peter answers: Tina is getting married next year and wants to know if there is a good time to book her honeymoon? Do holiday companies offer discounts for early booking? The two main times companies offer discounts for any type of holiday is when brochures are first launched and when they can’t sell holidays! Tina is likely to have specific dates of travel (i.e. just after the wedding), and therefore won’t be able to take advantage of any really late breaks - which are often the best deals to be had. It also depends on whether Tina goes with a company with a special honeymoon package, which often throw in free champagne or an upgraded room. Some of these companies include: Hayes & Jarvis, Kuoni, BA Holidays, Thomson, Thomas Cook and smaller companies can be found on the Association of Independent Tour Operators (AITO) website. The key thing to remember is that weddings are beautiful but also stressful, so if you book your honeymoon early, you’ve dealt with it and can spend a long lead up period looking forward to it. Companies are also more likely to give you better add-ons the further in advance you book Like all holiday buying, shop around and ask what special deals the company can do for honeymooners and dont be afraid to ask for a little bit of extra icing on the cake! Craig has some friends coming from New Zealand to holiday in the UK for three months. Is there a bank account they can open without showing proof of a UK address? This would help cut down on the bank fees on each transaction. No is the short answer. You need all sorts of documents to open an account today for various legal reasons, including stopping money laundering etc. The best thing for Craig’s friends to do is check with their own bank in New Zealand and see if it has any special arrangements for withdrawals. Westpac for example has a “Handycard” that can be used at ATM cash machines for savings accounts. But Visa and MasterCard have to be used for credit accounts. Just remember to check to see what you will be charged to use the ATM. Ultimately, the answer to Craig’s question is for his friends to use a combination of traveller’s cheques, credit cards and cash - the same as if a British holidaymaker was going to New Zealand. Karen is going on holiday to New York in August - where will she get the best exchange rate deal from UK sterling to US dollars? Should she take sterling cash with her and exchange it when she gets over there? Rates change on a daily basis so it’s difficult to give the definitive answer on the absolute best place. The good news however is that lots of places now do commission free deals (e.g. Post Office, Thomas Cook, Lunn Poly, Tesco etc.). But make sure you are still getting a good rate of exchange. The Post Office for example says it will always be as competitive as the main high street banks. The difference between changing pounds for dollars in the UK or the US is minimal. If you change before you go, you’ve got the local currency ready to use as soon as you step foot on US soil (and airport Bureaux de Change can offer poorer rates). Just make sure you don’t change more than you’ll use for the whole holiday, otherwise you may have to pay a commission charge when you get back Mark asks why can’t he access the exchange rates quoted on TV - it was $1.79 but the best rate that he could get on the high street was $1.66 plus 2% commission? Rates quoted on TV and in newspapers etc. are what’s known as “mid” rates (i.e. an average between the buy and sell rate). It’s effectively an average, so you never get what you see! The “Buy” and “Sell” rates apply to the place you’re getting your currency from. Sell rates are always higher, because the foreign exchange outlets want you to buy from them. Buy rates (i.e. the rate at which they’ll buy currency from you) is always lower because it takes into account their charges! And don’t forget there are now a number of places offering commission free currency Mike is going to Spain for his holiday and wants to know what is the cheapest way to make phone calls on his mobile? Should he buy a phone cards or just text people? Whatever Mike does, using a mobile phone in Europe is expensive. And hence the reason why all the major phone companies have come under a lot of criticism for the high cost of using mobile phones abroad. The different phone companies do however offer deals if you buy in advance - usually an “international services” package. T Mobile for example has a 55p per minute as it’s cheapest rate - a saving of 45% on its usual tariff. But this shows how incredibly expensive it was in the first place. Mobile phones are expensive but convenient. If you do plan on using your phone overseas, make sure you have international roaming - something that has to be set up in advance where youll get a pin code. And don’t forget you have to pay to receive calls as well. Another option to compare to is making a call from your hotel, but this is usually just as outrageously costly. By far the cheapest way to make calls overseas is to buy a phone card locally and make a call from a land line - this can work out at about 5p per minute from Spain Sarah wants to know how tour operators can advertise a holiday at a certain price but when you go to book it you have to pay extra if you’re single, a one parent family or flying out of a regional airport? And that’s not including paying extra for your meal on the plane, travel to your hotel and making sure you can guarantee a seat next to your partner! It hardly seems fair? This question has been asked since the beginning of “holiday” time. The answer is that holiday companies argue it’s easier to give a lead-in price because everyone’s different and has different options or bits to add on. For example, someone may want a transfer from the airport to the resort, other people don’t because they’ve hired a car. Hence they wouldn’t want to pay for the transfer. The other point is that because of the massive growth of no frills airlines which advertise one-way fares, the package holiday companies can only compete by stripping everything out. The profits for holidays have also been stripped to the bone, so any way that companies can claw back some extra cash, they will! Ben wants to know what is the best way of paying for things when abroad? Should he use his debit or credit card? Travellers cheques or cash? There is no right answer to this question. It really depends on what you plan on buying and where. You wouldn’t for example produce a fistful of dollars at 2am on the back streets of any major capital around the world. Equally, don’t expect many Sherpas to take credit cards if you’re trekking in Nepal. Its horses for courses - each method has its own use and level of security. Credit cards will offer some form of protection if you’re buying goods over a certain amount and they turn out to be faulty - or with some cards, if they’re lost or stolen. And if you time it right, you may not have to pay anything for 45 - 60 days depending on when you get your statement through. But watch out for those interest charges if you don’t pay the balance off and accumulate interest. Also, all credit card companies add on a foreign usage of between 1.25 & 2.75%. Debit cards will take funds directly from your account. That’s great if youre not into credit card debt but there’s no advantage to be taken of credit free periods. You’ll need to check whether your debit card offers purchase protection - some do and some don’t. Travellers cheques are having a hard time with the convenience of plastic. Still, they’re useful if you’re going to places where credit cards are not taken or there isn’t a convenient hole in the wall. They can also protect you against currency fluctuations - if you buy dollar your travellers cheques before you go, it doesn’t matter if the exchange rate worsens. On the other hand, you could lose out if the pound gets stronger, and travellers cheques may cost you some commission. Good wads of cash can speak and get things done in any language. But you need to balance between having enough in your pocket to get you through the days/evenings, and not taking too much in case you lose it in some way. It’s always good to arrive in a country with some local currency in your pocket for tips or buying drinks etc. and if you’re in a country where bartering is part of the local custom, hard cash may get you a better deal. The moral of the money maze is to spread your bets. Whenever I travel, I fluctuate between cash, and plastic but I would use travellers cheques if I were going somewhere where I’d have a problem using credit cards. And one great tip is not only to keep the numbers of your travellers cheques or credit cards in a separate place - but also send this information to yourself on the internet. Kim answers: Kim Winter shares her holiday knowledge Mary is 85 years old and takes several short holidays a year plus a month-long holiday in Bermuda. She has just been informed by her insurance company that they won’t be renewing her policy because of her age - despite never yet having made a claim. Any advice on where she can obtain annual cover? Companies worth trying are: American Express - 0800 028 7573 Co-operative Insurance Society (CIS) - 08457 464 646 Atlas Direct - 0800 0131213 She should also be aware that she should declare any pre-existing medical conditions. Barry wants to know his rights if he’s dissatisfied with his holiday accommodation. What should you expect from your holiday company if you’re dissatisfied with their service? Can you get your money back? The most important thing if you have a problem with your holiday is to complain on the spot. Tell your holiday rep about the problem and ask them to do something about it. If they can’t or won’t do anything, collect evidence of the problem - photos, video, names and addresses of other who can back up your claim. And ask for a complaints form from the rep. Fill it in, and keep a copy. When you get back, write to the tour operator describing what the problem was and how they have breached their contract - for example, if the brochure said that the hotel was right on the beach in a quiet position and the hotel turns out to be a mile from the beach next to a noisy disco. How much compensation you can expect to receive depends largely on how much the problems affected your enjoyment. You can claim for loss of value (the difference between the value of the holiday you got and the one you paid for), out-of-pocket expenses, and loss of enjoyment. Tour operators may offer a 10% discount off your next holiday, so you may have to be persistent if you want cash compensation. If you get no joy from dealing with the operator directly, you have a choice of going to the small claims court or arbitration (if the operator is a member of ABTA - the Association of British Travel Agents). In the past, Holiday Which? has found that consumers tend to get a better deal through the small claims court than through arbitration. Sukh asks why travel agents charge an extra percentage on top of the holiday cost if you pay with a credit card? After all, most people don’t just have that sort of money lying around and need to plan for their holidays. The short answer is - because they can! Dual pricing has been legal since 1991, and some travel agents charge more to customers who pay by credit card in order to recover the commission they pay to the card company. But they must draw it to your attention before you book. It is good advice to check what the total amount you will be paying comes to after including all the extra charges. This is particularly common with online flight bookings, as all sorts of extras such as taxes, credit or debit card charges and delivery charges are often added. Gerry’s partner has had a kidney transplant six months ago. They want to go on holiday to the Algarve this summer but are concerned that they won’t be able to get holiday insurance. Can you recommend any companies that specialise in this kind of insurance? Which? hasn’t researched companies who specialise in insuring people with pre-existing medical conditions. However, through our mystery shopping exercise we’ve identified mainstream insurers who may offer cover for pre-existing conditions without increasing premiums too much, depending on how serious they are. In like this, most travel insurance companies will pass you over to a medical screening company to assess your condition, even if your doctor says you are fit to travel. Companies worth trying include: Accomplish Travel - 020 8873 1840 Citybond Travel - 0870 444 6431 Extrasure - 0870 850 6090 InsureandGo - 0870 2202240 Norwich & Building Society - 0845 300 7077 Travel Insurance Agency - 020 8446 5414 The AA - 0870 606 1612 American Express - 0800 700 737 Marks & Spencer Money - 0800 068 3918 Miguel asks why do banks charge you a surcharge if you use your credit cards abroad? The US consumers don’t seem to have to pay any surcharges when they use their credit cards. And on a similar note, Mrs Kromm will be visiting Canada and the USA in August. She asks, can you recommend a credit card which has low charges for cash withdrawals abroad and goods payments? She will pay it off on her return. Almost all cards will charge you extra for using them abroad. In bank jargon it’s known as “exchange rate loading” - in plain English it’s a charge paid by the consumer, and it comes to around 2.75%. If you use your card to take money out of an ATM abroad you will also usually be charged an extra 1.5%, often with a minimum charge of 1.50. And most credit cards start charging you interest from the minute you withdraw cash. The most recent Which? research shows that Nationwide is a winner. Its debit card doesn’t make any charges for foreign purchases or cash withdrawals. You won’t be charged for using its credit card to buy something abroad, and its cash withdrawal fee is only 1.25%. If you pay off your bill in full each month, Nationwide’s Cash Reward card is a best buy. Emily is going inter-railing in September. She is really concerned about using her debit and credit cards because she’s heard so much about card fraud. Will she be covered if her card is cloned or stolen? Should she take out a special card protection plan? Card fraud is becoming an increasing problem, and the best advice is not to let the card out of your sight (many restaurants now have portable machines for swiping cards in front of you). Always keep sales vouchers and cash withdrawal slips to check against your statement - you will need them as evidence should your card be used fraudulently. As long as the card is still in your possession, you will not be liable for any unauthorised . To prevent fraud, some card companies also look for unusual patterns of spending and put a block on a card if they think the spot something suspicious. If you do not travel abroad much, it may be worth contacting your card company before you go away and let them know. And take along a mix of currency and traveller’s cheques as emergency back-up. Every credit card comes with an emergency number to call should you lose your card or have it stolen. Make sure that you take it with you, along with a record of your credit card number and expiry date, and keep this information separately from the cards. Once you have notified the issuer, the maximum amount you are liable for on a stolen card is usually 50. If you have several cards, you may think about joining a protection scheme, with which you lodge details of all your cards - they can then all be cancelled with a single call. These schemes cost about 15 a year. Don’t forget to inform them if you add new cards or change card companies. The opinions expressed are Peter’s and Kim’s, not the programme’s. The answers are not intended to be definitive and should be used for guidance only. Always seek professional advice for your own particular situation.

News - Anger over taxi receipt machines

Posted on March 27, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

News - Advice for dads? Work it out yourself

Posted on March 26, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

Will a new information pack for expectant fathers be any help? A father of two, who has been through it all, offers his own advice.

I realised I needed some advice on becoming a dad just a few seconds too late at the pregnancy classes.

As the tutor asked us “birth partners” what we were doing to prepare, I rather stupidly told the truth.

“I’m on the Playstation every night because it’s the last chance I’ll ever have.” Credibility exits along with the tumbleweed.

Three years on, a father to a girl and a boy, what have I learned? And would I have benefited from some kind of Dad Pack with quick tips on dealing with poo running down my nice trousers?

Rewired

I bought the books at the time, and then didn’t really read them. It wasn’t that I thought I knew it all, it was just there was so much going on that nature appears to have programmed us to learn on the job. So here is what I learned all-by-myself, to quote my three-year-old daughter.

Life changes. Completely, utterly, forever. Everything that you knew before, forget it. Your brain gets rewired. Your alcohol tolerance level collapses. You need more sleep and you lose track of everything else in the world, other than what your wife thinks about you.

HAVE YOUR SAY As a dad for a year now, all I can say is each situation is different Jonathan Kelk, Dalry, UK Send us your comments

I have learned that the only person who can tell you how to be a parent is yourself. By all means seek advice and listen to it. But unless you are prepared to take on the big decisions (bribery tactics for toddlers) and the complex emotional ones, you are going to struggle.

No amount of self-help manuals, schemes or cod-psychology on daytime TV will help you negotiate the paths you need to take.

The hardest thing for some men to deal with is the (false) belief that they are forever free agents with their own time jealously guarded. Well get over it, that isn’t the way of the world. If the Dad Pack goes anywhere towards making men confront the reality, then it’s a good thing.

Exploring

Nobody told me that three years on I would only get to watch DVDs rather than go to the cinema. The only gadget I now marvel at is the breast pump (although it really is an extraordinary thing).

But hey, I’m relaxed because none of this stuff matters when measured against going beetle and caterpillar hunting with my daughter.

And I’m entirely relaxed that I am rapidly heading towards a day when I will be doing my Dad dance at school discos.

I say embrace the change because you’re not living your life to the full if you fight against the direction you have taken it. So wave bye-bye to everything you knew and set out as you would for a good holiday. You’re going exploring. Take some nice pictures on the way.

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I think that the father is such an important role, and what we need to do is start showing more positive fatherly role models on tv and in the media rather than showing the inept and confused male figure that it seems to have become the norm to promote. My partner will make a great father, and he will learn about it the same way I learn to be a mother: as we go along!
Briony, Leeds, West Yorkshire

I couldn’t agree more. 5 years ago I would not have entertained the idea of playing tea parties. Now here I am 41 years old and enjoying every blooming minute of it. Though you do have to accept you will never be cool again.
bob, Cinderellas castle

After two and a half years I’m still trying to teach my husband the concepts of ‘over-tiredness’ and ; my advice to all dads is don’t get your children over-excited before bedtime - they’ll be over-tired and won’t be able to sleep!
Hilary, Leuven Belgium

Having a baby is like embarking on the most exciting, exhilerating and nerve-wracking journey of all. And you discover whole new levels of stress: your screaming child while rushing to A+E is a start!
Robert Garner, Bristol, UK

The greatest tip I can give, being Dad to (soon to be)1 year old Ieuan is:

If you are moving from one room to another, and you have a hand empty…means you have left something behind or forgotten something.
David Poultney, Faringdon UK

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming tunes from cbeebies programmes under your breath throughout the day. (Currently playing inside my head: eyes and ears and mouth and brain are what you need to play the game̷
Anthony, London

If your employer isn’t sympathetic to their staff having parenting responsibilities, find a new job quickly!
John Tams-Gray, Ruislip, UK

Being a dad isn’t stressful. All you have to do is look at life from a different perspective. Everything has changed, but a new ‘normal’ can be reached.
Everything now requires planning and contingency.
I find that the ‘Dad Time’ when my daughter wants to play with me is so rewarding.

Steve, Manchester

I became a father to twin girls late last year, and it has been/is one of the most tiring yet rewarding of my life to date. As mentioned in the article forget everything that you have ever known before, because that is all going to go out of the window. I now play peek-a boo for more hours a day than I get to play on the PS/2, I come to work for a rest and a lie in is a thing of the past. I dont think that an information pack of any sort can truly prepare anyone for their embarkation on fatherhood, as every circumstance is different what applies for one person will not apply for another person.
Chris, Milton Keynes

All Dads are diffrent in the same way that all Mums are different. My partner is great at playing football with my two girls, or helping them with their maths and reading, but just don’t ask him to put their hair in a pony-tail or get them to bed at decent time if the footies’ on! Most men have only just learnt to look after themselves so lets be easy on them and make the most of them growing up with their kids!
Kate Prior, Caerphilly

As a successful (I like to think) father of a girl and a boy, I think the only advice most fathers need is “It’s your baby - do what feels right”. This advice, of course, should also be the basis of advice to mothers.
Listen to the mother, as well, as for the most part she’ll spend more time with the child.
Finally, the best advice for any parent is “enjoy your babies - they grow up fast”.
Tom Lee, Guernsey

Yep, life changes completely, but its still the best thing I did in my life. Sure you lose a lot of “your own time”, but you get so much back out of it you don’t care. I feel sorry for those who don’t feel that way. And while there are no manuals to really prepare you it does help to talk to other parents to learn some tips and tricks on how to bribe your children, get them to eat certain things etc. Best journey I ever started.
Ron Winkler, The Hague, The Netherlands

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News - Refugees taught how to eat American food

Posted on March 19, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

“This guy is overweight,” she says, explaining that this is because he eats too much fast food and drinks cola. “And guess what happens?” she asks. “Inside his body there are lots of problems.” At a table, a dozen or so refugees - most of them from Africa - sit and nod. Some smile and chat among themselves. They appear to get the picture. This workshop on how to eat American food is part of an Illinois state-funded programme to improve the nutrition of refugees who are being re-settled in the land of plenty. “First we are most concerned about whether they will understand how to eat American food,” says Shana Willis, with the non-profit refugee resettlement agency Heartland, one of the project co-ordinators. “They did not only not understand how to eat American food, but they went immediately to the junk food and it was then that we realised, this is going to have a much more important impact than we .” Culture shock One of the major challenges for organisers is to change the way the refugees think about food. Many of the new arrivals suffered from malnutrition and came from places where food was scarce. I have been here just a few months and its very disorientating… Where will I find dates to break my Ramadan fasting? And, where do I get halal goat meat? Refugee at the workshop Some want to make up for a lifetime in which they were denied meat. Others gravitate towards the fizzy orange drink and crisps, believing they are a great source of vitamins. And there is plain culture shock. “I have been here just a few months and its very disorientating,” says one man through a translator. “Where will I find dates to break my Ramadan fasting? And, where do I get halal goat meat?” In mid-western Chicago, the answer is not obvious. During the workshop Ms Desai holds up a plastic prop of a piece of broccoli. “How many vegetables do you eat in the day?” she asks the class. One man says something quietly. “He eats nothing!” exclaims one woman, giggling - “He eats no vegetables!” “Oh-oh,” says Ms Desai. Shopping tips She asks the class how much pasta is in a serving. One man puts out his whole arm and points to his wrist. When they first come, there is a lot of hoarding - more than they need… So I tell them it won’t run out - in fact it will spoil Bindi Desai “No,” she says, “one serving is a cupped hand.” “If you only eat one time, maybe the arm is okay.” Aside from the workshops, Ms Desai pays home visits to help steer the refugees towards smart shopping. “When they first come, there is a lot of hoarding,” she says. “More than they need.” “So I tell them it won’t run out - in fact it will spoil,” she explains. Ms Desai weeds through their cupboards, encouraging the beans, pasta and vegetables and discouraging the junk food. But teaching shopping tips sometimes is not enough. Many of the refugees are living in Chicago’s poorer neighbourhoods and they can have difficulty finding healthy food. So Ms Desai also organises grocery store tours. She says she sees evidence in the cupboards that her lessons are making a difference. Learning Organisers say the project has been so successful with African arriving in the United States, that it will be expanded to incorporate other refugee groups, with renewed funding from the state. Back at the workshop, Ms Desai is wrapping up. “Did you learn anything?” she asks. One man raises his hand. “Eat too much food and you get fat,” he says. “That’s right,” says Ms Desai. Another man joins in and says: “Salt not good. Sugar not good. Oil not good. Fat not good. Blood pressure, heart problems. Yup, Yup.” Ms Desai laughs and says: “Very good. You’re learning our slang.”

News - The Magazine Monitor

Posted on March 18, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

Great news, buried in the article Greenland melt ’speeding up’, I see a reference to changes in the earths gravity, I have been telling my doctor I am not getting fatter it’s the earth’s gravity getting stronger, finally I have the scientific evidence. Nigel, Salford In the unsung landmarks picture gallery Neil Templeton notes the Harland and Wolff shipyard crane is “one of the two icons of Belfast”. It then says: What’s the other?” The “other” mentioned is the other crane - they are a pair, Samson and Goliath. Awesome. MissB, My Ivory Tower How stupid do I feel? It’s only just clicked with me that Punorama is a play on Panorama. John Coulthard, Bath, UK Five chameleons, three fluffy dogs, a squirrel, two pandas and a lobster… who needs pets when you can just cut pages out of Metro? Rob Foreman, London, UK When I settled down to do the 7 days 7 questions quiz this morning, I was met by a question asking me the braking distance when travelling at 60 mph. That is not a news question! And I got it wrong - so I strongly protest to it being included! And it involved numbers - how am I meant to cope with that at 10am, before I’ve had my first sugary mug of Nescafe? Blackwood, Edinburgh Re Lester Mak, London’s request for a flexicon entry for adding superfluous words in sentences, how about “superverbosity”? David, Maesteg, South Wales With regards Lester Mak’s comments about shopping days, I still don’t understand why banks talk about so many working days for things to clear now they have seven-day phone and web banking in most cases. Surely at least some of each bank’s employees are therefore at work on any given day. Ed, Clacton, UK Quote of the day: the next time Selina Scott watches Big Brother, can I sit next to her please? Kip, Norwich UK For anyone wanting more shortcut tips for MS Word or for a definition of Spike, try this. It is Friday, after all. Em, Dundee, UK Missed opportunity of the day: In the “Road hole swallows car and driver story, what the council spokesperson should have said is: “We’re looking into it”. Mike C, Leeds, UK Link to this item Return to top of Magazine Monitor Enlarge Image

It’s time to vote for this week’s picture caption.

This week, Neil and Christine Hamilton were pictured in Edinburgh launching the first-ever festival photography comptition, Fringe Framed, to celebrate the 60th Fringe Festival.

Here are the shortlisted entries - now vote for the winner.

1. Kip, Norwich
Beyond the Cringe

2. Sue Lee, Twickenham
When bad clothes happen to entirely deserving people.

CAPTION COMPETITION VOTE Whose is the best caption? Kip Sue Lee Jim Neesweep Cayley Oli Beale John Coulthard

3. Jim Neesweep, Norwich
At last some good news for the Labour party as their new election poster is unveiled.

4. Cayley, Santiago
Does this count as hand luggage?

5. Oli Beale, London
Damien Hirst creates his most tasteless piece to date.

6. John Coulthard, Bath
Cliche fans shocked as picture revealed to be not worth a thousand words.

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Pet goat taken on drunken joyride would bring a smile to my face. However, when I read on about the tragic outcome for Snowy I once again felt like all was lost, until I went to write to MM only to be greeted with a pair of gurning Hamiltons… what an emotional rollercoaster today is turning out to be! Suppose I should get back to work…
Mark, Shoreham-by-Sea, UK

Ok, while everyone is bashing the landmarks quiz, mine failed to load all the pictures and yet I still managed 8/10 (I missed the eden project and Liver building) I approached it from the point of which of these places has the most famous man made landmark.. go on try for yourself:
Felixstowe, Birkenhead, Portsmouth, Southampton. Did you get it?
Mike, Nottingham

Sarah Halifax, Canada waxes lyrical over the Eccles cake. It is but a pale imitation of the wonderful Chorley Cake. I suggest that Mr Blair eats them spread with lashings of salted butter.
Nigel, Walkden (near Eccles), UK

As an IT professional, and after extensive research, I can confirm that the shift-F3 trick does indeed work. Here’s another little nugget, did you know that ctrl-F3 has a name, it’s called Spike. Proof: highlight a word press ctrl-f3 then click on edit and you will see you can undo Spike, so ctrl-F3 must be Spike, QED.
Nigel, Salford, Uk

In response to Grace from London, a favourite of mine is Alt + F4. It’s somewhere on the same level as, “You know they’ve taken the word gullible out of the dictionary”
Matt, Sheffield

Keyboard tips: Don’t eat you lunch over it, crumbs and everything are really horrible for the next user.
Also Windows Key and M - minimises all open windows
JH, Tylers Green

As a side note to your caption competition, just thought I’d let you know that I saw Neil and Christine in Edinburgh the other day… signing each cheek of a man’s *rse. Just thought I’d let you know.
Andrew, Edinburgh

dismissed a photographer after he was found to have doctored two images from Lebanon, such rules clearly don’t apply in the world of Royal photographic portraiture. The Mail refers to the “colour enhancement” which “gives the young princess even a turn-of-the-century air”.

It even seeks the opinion of veteran photographer Terry O’Neill who says the picture is “spoilt by changing the colour. It just makes the picture look very unreal.”

And there was Paper Monitor thinking the printers had forgotten to slot in a new tri-colour cartridge.

But hold on, here’s the exact same portrait in today’s Daily Mirror with none of the dramatic colour contrast.

So who’s Bea-n busy on Photoshop then?

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digital tribes will update their thoughts based on how many people in different postcodes go online to see which group they are in? I checked and found that I am the type that would check. Very reassuring.
Jon , Bristol

I got 9/10 in the landmarks quiz. The one I got wrong was Newcastle.
Mike , Newcastle upon Tyne

So we don’t recognise places without their landmarks? Of course we don’t, that’s how the mind works, we could recognise each other if we didn’t have our facial features. This seems a case of pointless science!
Olly Bacon, Biggleswade

Re: PM’s comment that there are (only) 138 shopping days until Christmas. I don’t get why people still insist on including the “shopping” bit, as since Sunday Trading was introduced in 1994, everyday is a shopping day. Surely there’s a flexicon entry for this kind of behaviour?
Lester Mak, London

OK, the Mirror shows awareness of ‘what readers really want’by publishing pictures of cute creatures. So your picture of a likkle baby panda was erm, purely for scientific erudition then? By the way, over here in Pedant’s Corner we spell it Wednesday.
vicky, east london

QJ, yes, money lenders were thrown out of the temple, but having a cash machine to let people get at their own money is a bit different, surely?
Sara, London, UK

Thank you for ‘7ft python turns up at neighbours. It had been nearly two whole weeks without a python story, since the one about the albino python in the post office. Will we continue to have python stories once the silly season is over?
Carol, Portugal

After the success of the shift-F3 tips, can MM readers suggest other handy keyboard hints?
Grace, London

Mel Smith captured the headlines with his threat to defy Scotland’s smoking in public ban and light up on stage at the Edinburgh festival.

You punners really surpassed yourselves this time, all the creative people collected in Edinburgh would be so proud.

Focusing on the Churchill theme were Nick in London with Never, in the field of human comedy, was there so much puff over a smoker who smoked so few, Tall Tone from Essex with We shall fight them on the stages and John Coulthard in Bath with You Winston? You Lose Them.

Those taking the cigar as their inspiration are John Coulthard with Smokey And They Banned It, Smoky and the banned skit from David Dee in Maputo, Mozambique and
Russell in the Wirral with Smokey and the bandit. There was also Edinburgh Singe from Clive Burdall in Croydon, Cuban Missive Crisis from Pat Murphy in Wallasey,
Mel was just Havan a cigar from NJM in Edinburgh and Lights… Cuban… Ashtray from Elvis McGuire in Wigan - great name by the way.

And an honourable mention for Grahame Blanchard in Towcester with A crass Smith and moans, Alas, Smith and fumes from Sarah in London and Romeo y Julieta, a modern farce from Simon Rooke in Nottingham.

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comments about Catholicism and evolution. Most Catholics today ( in the Western world) do in fact believe in the scientifically-accepted theory of evolution. The Catholic Church is actually more lenient than many may assume when it comes to the Bible - more lenient, for example, than many evangelical Christian churches, whose members are more likely to disregard theory in favour of the Biblical version of events.
Matthew, Gateshead

I can clarify Kay’s question, as a Catholic creationist evolutionist. The Catholic church (most of it) does teach that evolution is, as accepted by science, the most valid theory of how life evolved on Earth. However, it also teaches that, as Christians, we must believe that the driving force behind this evolution was God as creator. So the standard teaching, where the teaching is correct, is that both creationism and evolution can, and should, be accepted. Some Catholics don’t believe in evolution, but that’s personal choice, not Church teaching.
Anon, Chicago, USA

Can anyone tell me why press officer is an unusual job at the Edinburgh Festival? Seems quite mundane to me
Owain Williams, Munich

So a cleric suggests putting cash machines in churches. The cynic in me wonders if this might be related to recent returns from his collection plate?
Hang on, didn’t someone famous once cast money-lenders out of the temple?
QJ, Stafford, UK

Does anybody else find it odd that 11% of people surveyed in Portsmouth were unable to identify a photo of their home town, even when it included the utterly distinctive, 170-metre tall Spinnaker Tower? Do these people never look up?
MJ Simpson, Leicester, UK

Oh my God! Is it really a year since Cabbaging (Monday letters). What am I doing with my life.
John Bates, London SE1

The picture caption in this storysays “The mouse looks the same but has an ancient gene” yet I’ve never seen a mouse like it, except in cartoons. Have they deliberately squashed its back-end flat with some sort of road-roller or has someone been busy with Photoshop?
James, Scotland

To Norm Brown (Monday letters) - you can’t “crash out” if you’ve reached the final. It is implicit in “crashing out” that the competition continues without you, something that dear old Tim didn’t experience too often.
Steve, London

Re the growing controversy over mid-morning pastries, could I suggest that PM try an Eccles cake or a custard tart before angry Francophones start demanding a bilingual Monitor site? Besides, an Eccles cake is much nicer.
Sarah, Halifax, Canada

nominative determinism - or just that glamorous celebrities get allocated their own glam law enforcers?

While the fall-out from the lock-out was unfolding on the street for all to see, where was Macca himself? Paper Monitor suspects he might have been busy penning a letter to the Daily Telegraph’s new agony aunt, Lesley Garner. “We split up, but she won’t leave,” runs the headline across Ms Garner’s inaugural problem to solve.

Not that the Telegraph would lower itself to have an agony aunt, as such. That’s red-top tabloid territory. Ever since Virginia Ironside’s Dilemma’s column in the Independent, the qualities have taken a more highbrow approach to on other people’s problems. Thus, Ms Garner “tackles the anxieties and dilemmas that beset modern life”. As for a “photo casebook” ( the Sun’s Deidre): no chance!

today’s Daily Mini-Quiz.

Faces of the Week on Mel Gibson said “although a practising Roman Catholic, he does not believe in evolution.” Sorry, does being a Roman Catholic mean you DO believe in evolution? I wasn’t aware that was a tenet of belief in the Catholic catechism. Rather the opposite I’d have thought. Perhaps the Catholics among us could correct me in this if I am wrong?
Kay, London

Re your article on the death of the electric car. Might it be that it wasn’t the oil firms who killed off the electric car but the insurance companies worried about all the claims they would receive from people tripping over the leads which would be covering the pavements as the cars were being charged?
Barry, Manchester

Mellowpuffs ready, browsers to BBC News, five clicks only… we’re getting ready for the first anniversary of Cabbaging. PS Mellowpuffs are the kiwi version of teacakes.
A. Kent, Wellington, New Zealand

Picking up on this morning’s Paper Monitor, I’m enthralled by the Pageant’s gas strut assisted handbrake, dual action extractor fan and non-slip shower mat. But where’s the music system for my James Blunt CDs?
Mike , Newcastle upon Tyne

Re today’s mini-quiz (on 31 November) - there’s more than one typing error there. Any Scot will know that the man whose birthday is celebrated on January 25 is Rabbie Burns - and it’s Burns’ night, not Burn’s night.
K, Edinburgh

Snippet 7 about leatherback turtles is a very sad reality. However a typical pun laced with unique British humour could be prevalent in the slogan of many , which is :”A bag for life”
Tim McMahon, Pennar/Wales

The BBC Sport morning headline says Murray loses in Washington final. Why didn’t he “crash out” like Henman always does?
norm brown, Branxton. NSW.OZ.

More oddities, this story appeared at No. 5. on the Most E-Mailed list on Saturday afternoon at half three. Why? Neither of them are even in the news!
Kirk Northrop, Manchester, England

PM, PM, it’s pain aux raisinS! We discussed this weeks ago. Or are you trying to make everybody happy, using AUX in the plural and RAISIN in the singular?
Hlne, Lorraine, Qubec

Re the note at the end of Friday’s letters, thanks for the advice. I will make sure that I “ONLY INCLUDE THE HR TAG AT START OF NEW DAY” I’m sure I’m not the only one who found this very useful.
Adam G, Merstham

this site, well caravanning has certainly come on in terms of comfort in recent years.

So what does the foreign secretary use to tow this mobile mansion? A gold-coloured Range Rover, no less… which is of passing interest in light of the call today from the Sustainable Development Commission to slap 1,800 vehicle excise duty on polluting 4×4s. Still, it’s probably more eco friendly that flying.

Daily Mail readers get a double dose of New Labour holiday snaps - with Cherie Blair pictured sun bathing -without a sarong! - on a boat near Barbados. The Mail can hardly contain itself, pointing out that like “most women of a certain age, her approach to sunbathing is usually rather modest. But this summer… Cherie Blair is feeling a little more self assured”.

Talking of shedding one’s old attire - it’s the second Monday in a row with no Diana splash in the Express.

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Newsround - Memory techniques

Posted on March 17, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment

News - Shop safe

Posted on March 17, 2008
Filed Under Dating tips, Dating advices | Leave a Comment